Work In Progress :I Am

I think, I observe, so I am. I am. Two words that seem so harmless can take on so many different connotations, once we add a third word. Humour me here with my rambling observations.

I am Beautiful, I am Gorgeous, I am Famous, I am Powerful, I am Liked, I am Loved, I am Knowledgeable, I am Rich, I am Critical (in whichever way you want to interpret this), I am Important, I am ……….. and on an on…… I am an Observer, I am Alive.

Yes I am alive. I am kicking. I am collecting my experiences. I am living my life. I am Happy. Or so I think.

I am and I was. I was immersed in the doldrums of festivities and literally so. The Durga Puja that I attend here in Singapore arranges for a Dhakia (a drum specific to the West Bengal called Dhaak, and the player is reffered to as the Dhakia) to fly in from India. All that noise, colourful visuals, socializing and eating has left my senses a little blurred. I am still groping and getting back to the grind. Beautiful as those days were there were thoughts that were running through my head. I shared on my social media wall the significance of the 9 goddesses to the night nights of festivities namely Navratri. Well if you are not well versed with Durga Puja and Navratri I would suggest Wikipedia or just turn on the news feed of your Indian friends in Singapore and you will know exactly what I mean.

So while the Goddess was here for Nine days, all the Devi’s were slaying their wardrobe demons and out in their fan-fare to show their ultimate victory avatars. I was partaking in the rituals of enjoyment and merriment I simultaneously continued, with my routines of Pranayama, SKY, and Sadhana. Longer Sadhana’s during this time as I found that the meditation was far deeper. Must be a reason why this festival and Shivratri are a must for a person to reflect on for their spiritual growth. I am not going to go into the scientific reasons behind these two festivals being so high on the energy factors. However, what I will touch on is the fact that both have a cultural connotation and are celebrated all over India in different ways. As an ancient culture dependent on agriculture it does not come as a surprise that much of these rituals were to do with either harvesting or laying the ground down for new crops. Celebration makes it easier to bring the community together and adding a moralistic tale too helps.

On a more personal level, we do harvest and lay down the way for new. And this happens in our body everyday with the cells that drop and make way for the new cells. Our body is the biggest example of the Brahman, the Universal existence and the supreme consciousness. Everything is cyclical and is happening. All is here to stay. The soul the body they all continue their journey. The energy assumes different forms but it continues to exist in new avatars.

The addition to all of this is our own thought process. The Demons are within our own thought process as are the Goddess that slay them too. It is this constant observation of our own thought process and how victorious we have been in vanquishing our demons that determines our own growth and happiness. As I grope with the daily threads of my life, I am returning to work and I found myself working on a collaborative work that will enhance my skill in patience but hopefully will also be meaningful to the target group. Constantly while working on this I remind myself to observe my thoughts, my actions, my demeanour, and my choice of words. They are not always in keeping with my expectations. However, I remain, a work in progress. Meanwhile I continue to plan for this project as I realise “I Am” (Sohum).